10 Tips to Feel more Confident

by | Jan 10, 2021

10 Tips to Feel More Confident

Confidence. Who doesn’t want more of it? We are drawn to people who ooze confidence. From politicians to athletes and movie stars, to our pastors and professors, everybody loves a winner. 

And it’s their confidence that creates our perception of who those winners are.

Confidence, according to Merriam-Webster, is a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something. It’s the winning mindset.

So where does it come from? Sure, it’s helpful if you grew up in a nurturing environment, receiving plenty of praise and encouragement, but even if you weren’t blessed with the perfect upbringing, even if you are riddled with self-doubt and fear, you can create confidence no matter your age or life situation. In fact the very act of pursuing confidence is an act of strength. Go you!

Most people would agree that reflecting on the most rewarding moments of their lives, the times when they felt the most accomplished, most passionate, and most connected, they were also feeling their most confident.

There is a direct correlation between how we experience success and how we feel confidence. It pretty much breaks down to: the more confident you are, the more in control you feel and the better you perceive your life to be.

When we allow our health and fitness to slip, we feel out of control and our confidence starts to erode. “I mean how hard is it to eat a salad? Why can’t I commit to thirty minutes of exercise three days a week? What’s wrong with me?” It’s a downward spiral… 

Most of us are a jumble of confidence and insecurity. We know that we rock at our job but we struggle with our ability to eat well. We are confident that we are the best mom in a hundred-mile radius but we are afraid to go to spin class because we can’t figure out the bike and what if we can’t keep up?

The first step in becoming more confident is to accept that nothing is 100% and to embrace what is working. That positive affirmation can become the seed for a whole garden of confidence and security. Optimism is key.

Helen Keller once said, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

But like anything else, in order to create hope and confidence, you’ll need a plan. Having a plan puts you in control of your personal growth.

Here are ten concrete actions you can take to begin creating confidence:


  1. Get an attitude of gratitude.

Take inventory. What’s working in your life? Make a list of what’s important to you and what you’ve achieved and start celebrating your victories. You begin to fill yourself with positive energy when you are grateful for what you have, who you are, and how far you’ve come.


  1. Be realistic.

Take note of what isn’t working. Allow yourself to dispassionately assess your weaknesses. Try not to judge. This is how you figure out what can be better. And that’s a good thing.


  1. Set small goals.

Identify some simple changes you can make that would begin to address your weaknesses. Don’t overreach. Tackle the issues in baby steps, celebrating each win and building confidence with every success. The changes can be as simple as making sure you get two liters of water down today. One of the biggest reasons people struggle with getting healthy is that they try to lose twenty pounds and run a marathon the first week in. You’re smarter than that. Baby steps.


  1. Stand tall with confidence.

Studies show that adjusting your body posture actually convinces your brain that you feel confident. Stand up straight and take your space because doing so will give you a testosterone boost that will genuinely affect how you feel. Your body can change your mind.


  1. Move your body.

Exercise. Seriously. Like adjusting your posture and standing like a badass, exercising will boost your testosterone and fill you with endorphins that will leave you feeling powerful, capable, and confident. That’s thirty minutes well invested if you ask me.


  1. Spruce up.

Being well groomed has an enormous impact on the way we feel about ourselves. Shower. Wash your hair. Choose a cute outfit. Take the time to put yourself together. Sounds like a no brainer but it really works.


  1. Prepare yourself.

We all feel better when we have a plan and know what to expect. So if the day in front of you is long and difficult, pack a healthy lunch and schedule in a few minutes to exercise. Take a HUGE water bottle along. Don’t allow stress and deadlines to derail your self-care. By preparing beforehand, you can make even the busiest day a win.


  1. Smile and make eye contact.

Invest the energy in creating positive vibes. When you smile and look people in the eye you create a welcoming atmosphere. It’s both friendly and disarming. Confident people are capable of openness, warmth, and kindness and those things make our world a nicer place to live.


  1. Practice kindness.

Be generous with yourself and others. Offer up your help, your knowledge, and your time and you will reap a heaping helping of self-confidence because all that giving makes you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself you feel more confident and when you feel confident you kick ass.


  1. Annihilate the negativity.

This is no time for a kinder gentler approach. CRUSH anything that brings you down. Whether you work through the problem, cut off the toxic person, or excise the ugly situation, eradicate the negative influences in your life. Your spirit can never soar free when you are tethered by negativity. Cut it loose and see just how high you can go.


Confidence can be yours. You can boost what you already have and you can create confidence in the areas of your life that have none. The sense of ease and satisfaction that comes from feeling confident will lift you up and give you both the peace and courage to love your success and to tackle your weaknesses.

Don’t be fooled. It’s not genetic and it’s not an “either you got it or you don’t” thing. Confidence is a living, changing gift that you can grow.

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